Reflections...

My two months son was trying to sleep in his new nanny's arms. It was first time for him when he was not in his mothers lap. People say, he does not know anything yet. However, his mom saw a talking pair of eyes searching for the reason why his mom was sitting at the far corner watching him go to sleep. When she knows his comfort zone, why doesn't she put me to sleep like everyday. Was it really the baby or was it a reflection of what his mother was feeling inside ?

Mom is preparing him for the time when she goes back to work in a month's time.
Dear Son... Mom is preparing you to be without her... which is going to be as tough for her as for you. There can't be a third person who can understand what goes inside you and mom... and that is her real worry. How would anyone understand your unspoken needs when mom goes back to work !!!
The silent communication that has been going on between you and her which fills her heart with pleasure and it swells everytime you cling to her for the feed...
Time to close this here and get back to you son :)

Motherhood - I

9th,Feb,2010 - The day that changed the way I looked at life. I had often heard all people saying wonderful things about motherhood but could never appreciate those expressions more than a nod. The outlook really changed on that afternoon when I first saw a small white bundle just wearing a small cloth round the waist and looking at me blankly. It took me really sometime to acknowledge that it was my son...
The next big moment was our first time together. He was actually in my arms. My son...
I was the only one for him as he started his struggle for taking his first feed. All the pain I was going through melted within that little mouth that clung to me. He looked at me through his big beaming eyes. It was as a moment of pleasure for the new mom in me who was trying to believe that it was not a fairy tale but reality.
I have been very lucky in love in my life....and with him in my arms, I felt like the luckiest person to have ever lived to see that day.

Admist hopes and shades of dark...

There are certain dreams that we take up as part of being who we are. If you are a girl...there is a dream to get married to the right guy and then suddenly when you marry and find yourself in a family setup you had never imagined before. A life which is much different than the individual you have been...suddenly the dream turns into a misty cloud and you feel trapped inside this matrix. Somehow....when things start to settle down finally, your dreams have secretly taken another leap. The you inside forgot about the freedom that you used to yearn for...and you are a woman who wants to nurture life. You want to be a MOM... and then you wish for a gift of life. The moment the UPT is positive, you already feel like a mom...and get into a world where you are someone capable of creating someone live...deciding her life starting right from her name. As time goes by...you start looking into the past...and the mirror has a girl who would give up anything to safeguard her freedom and individualism. Now is a woman who eats, sleeps and does everything for this baby... someone who only exists barely and starts governing her life... Now, she is again into a state where her dreams seem a hazy spell trapping her and separating her from herself. She wants to hold on to this gift of life and still wants to run back to that mirror where she was a jumping and bubbling girl with nothing to think about... where she is only her !

creations...ONE

Today my identity is of an elder who wants to pass on the message to his newly wed daughter to be an example...this is about the rich culture of my country where we preach and practise sacrifice to bestow the gift of life and shower of smiles on those we love....

Growing up with a doll in hand
No horizon to expand…
Dear ones always there
Whatever done was always fair….

Growing to see the greener land
Princess with a magical wand…
Whatever wished was always granted
Home land was all enchanted

Now the princess is a queen
She needs to follow a discipline
To live in dignity and respect
and not just living in retrospect…

This is the time to return the love
And make the family proud of her
Petty things she might have to shove
Showing her best humane amour

The kingdom awaits the firm will power
The soothing love and blessing shower
No one but her can save life…
Narrowing the widening rife

To acknowledge the decision of time
Swaying effortless in this mime…
Life will at some time leave you surprised
Amidst all the responsibilities mesmerized…

Get up…gear and get going…
Let the life move on flowing
Become the reason of someone’s smile
Giving you peace at the last mile…

New Year with new hopes...

Hello people in this world....
I am being the true optimist like every other person. Today marks the last day of year 2008. I am wishing for my loved ones and secretly for myself ;) . The wishlist grows with each passing day.....and yes with new year comes resolution. I have my secret resolution of learning french. The resolution to keep it secret is already gone down the drain ;) I am still hopeful about the resolution though :)
My wish for all of us is "world peace...".

Who am I...

As I enter this arena of limitless thoughts flowing out from all directions.....let me introduce myself !
My introduction does not stereotypically start with I am a boy or a girl with such and such age and bla...bla...bla....
There are thousands around with these identities. My identity here has a purpose. I am the common man. I am getting affected with the churning feeling of terror inside me. I am the common man who is afraid to watch a movie in a multiplex, because my priority is to live with my family rather than living some desiered moments in a multiplex and then be counted in the hundreds and thousands on the front page of a newspaper. I am the only son of a single mother. I am the single parent of a small child. I am the small child laboring to increase the income of my parents. I am the fragile woman bearing the brunt of being a woman. I am the sole bread earner.
If I continue with my introduction, it will be many days before you finish reading it.
....and why am I here ?
I have chosen it as a platform to transform the thoughts and ideas going inside me into black convoluted lines...and form a beautiful expression.
I am one of you and all of you. Read it and try to connect with me....rather with yourself.

Love
Smile...